Blood of the Pen

Amateur novelist. Professional dreamer.

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8,140 Plays
How Does Zevran Feel About Not Being in Inquisition?

lightgetsout:

As requested by  calliantabris a fan impression on how Zevran feels about not being in Dragon Age: Inquisition. 

So, I was recently asked how I felt about not being included in Dragon Age: Inquisition. And to be quite honest, I do not mind in the slightest. It is good to take a vacation from being a big daring hero and saving the world every now and then, am I right?

And between you and I, I have been keeping this ‘tears in the fade’ and ‘demons threatening the world’ business a secret from our dear Warden. Because I now if they found out they would have to get involved and be in harm’s way and all that self-sacrificing business that comes with being a charming and lovely hero.

And quite frankly, I think one time is more than enough for my warden….so far as my own sanity can put up with….oh braska.

But fortunately so far, I have quite successful in keeping it a sec-Oh! excuse me one moment, would you?

Yes, my dear warden, what do you need?

….

A giant green tear in the sky, you say? Well surely that is impossible-

What do you mean you are going to ‘check it out?’

No, this is nonsense, my dear warden! Please stay, I will get the cheese wheel and the soothing oils and we shall have a lovely-

My warden, I-

Warden! You get back here right now!

WARDEN I-

Sorry to cut this short but I need to collect my warden!

WARDEN!…….THAT’S IT, WE ARE TAKING OUR VACATION TO THE ANDERFELS. NOTHING EVER HAPPENS THERE.

(via butt-effect)

Filed under there is nothing about this I don't like sound file Zevran Dragon Age humor Zevran Arainai Dragon Age: Inquisition

1,325 notes

thievinghippo:

bioware-confessions:

image

(x)

I think out of all the races in Mass Effect the Volus are my least favorite. I think there’s only one or two in the whole trilogy that isn’t whiny and cowardice. Does anyone actually like the Volus?

HOLD UP.

Someone talking shit about the volus?

Just by seeing a volus in person, you are seeing the opposite of a coward. You are seeing a bad ass motherfucker who risks their life to do business on the Citadel or Illium, etc. A quarian gets a suit puncture? That’s bad. But give them some anti-biotics and they’ll be okay in the end.

A volus gets a suit puncture? They die. End of story.

What a lot of people don’t understand is that volus aren’t a carbon based life form like every other species in the Mass Effect universe. These folk are ammonia based. They are completely unique. They can’t eat levo food, they can’t eat dextro food. Do you hear them complaining? Nope.

Can you tell me who was the third species to discover the Citadel after the asarai and the salarians? That would be the volus, my friend. They discovered the Citadel before the turians, the humans, the elcor, the batarians, etc, etc.

You know what the volus did when they got there? They said, ‘screw your banking system, we’re gonna design a better one.’ And they did! They authored the Unified Banking Act, basically standardizing the galaxies currency without sacrificing each world’s autonomy. You want to pay in Mexican pesos? Or some obscure vorcha currency? Thanks to the volus, you can.

These fuckers are smart. When the krogan rebellion came along, they knew they had absolutely no chance fighting them. So what did they do? They said, ‘Yo turians! Protect us and we’ll handle your economy.’ And an agreement was reached. Some people might think that’s weak? Me? I see a charging krogan and am able to get someone to stand in front of me, that’s savvy, not fear.

Fun volus fact. Did you know that the volus don’t use family names? They have no concept of a name like ‘Shepard’ or ‘Alenko’ because they believe that you can’t own a person. They believe so strongly in personal freedom that giving a surname to your child is like staking a claim on them.  

Some think the volus didn’t contribute enough to the Reaper War. Fuck that! They donated all the materials and ships that they had. Not to mention things that don’t seem important, like fabrication units. Guess who made all the custom plastic pieces needed for the Crucible? That would be the volus. Guess who reversed engineered all sort of tech to help with the Crucible. Again, the volus.

Are they bitter about their place on the Citadel? Fuck yeah they are, with good reason. This bad ass culture has been around since almost the beginning. They’ve stabilized the entire galaxy’s economy. Have you ever heard of there being a recession or a depression on the Citadel? You haven’t. Cause the volus are on top of that shit.

So even though they’ve been around for more than two thousand years, they still don’t have a place on the Council. They don’t even have their own embassy. And here come the humans, who haven’t contributed nearly as much, and they get their own private office!  But don’t worry. Now that the Reaper War is over, things are in flux and the volus will be there to make sure the economy doesn’t tank.

IN CONCLUSION: The volus are awesome and deserve your respect. 

(via apostatemosquito)

Filed under Mass Effect Volus

37 notes

mallymunestelledusk:

[image: Once Upon A Time’s Rumplesteiltskin silhouette. Messy gold paint background. Caption is “On Sundays we wear GOLD” ]

You see these designs? I’m putting them on shirts and everything else on my Redbubble account as soon as I finish up dinner and make a few more edits.

So you can buy them and wear them when you watch Once Upon A Time

Credit to the IDEA goes to mistress-of-evil-and-inventions

(c) Estelle Dusk 2014

(via riskpig)

Filed under NEED Once Upon a Time Rumpelstiltskin

264 notes

dalishsquish:

The first thing they notice, inquisition:

Vivienne — the first thing Vivienne notices about a person is their posture. How they present themselves. How they value, or don’t value, a chin held up high, shoulders squared, a straight back.

Iron Bull — he notices a person’s scars, but he doesn’t ask about them, mention them, or indicate he’s seen them.

Sera — the first thing Sera notices about a person is their tone of voice. Is it soft? Loud? Do they tiptoe around their vocabulary or do they speak as they think, everything else be damned?

Solas — Solas, too, notices a person’s speech patterns, but he listens for what is not said. What thoughts might be running through a person’s mind? What might they be dreaming when everything else is quiet?

Cole — what Cole first notices is a person’s eyes. Specifically, are they looking at him?

Blackwall — what Blackwall notices in people is their stance. Do they look ready for anything that comes at them? Or does it seem like a strong breeze might knock them over?

Dorian — Dorian may appear confident, perhaps overly so, but he has his uncertainties. He notices people’s nervous gestures, their fingers twisting or tapping, their bodies swaying ever-so-slightly in agitation — this is something he does not allow himself to show.

Cassandra — Cassandra notices your bullshit. And she will call you on it.

(Source: notyourherald, via apostatemosquito)

Filed under I was really really thinking and then I got to Cassandra and laughed my ass off Dragon Age: Inquisition Vivienne Iron Bull Sera Solas Cassandra Pentaghast Cole Dorian Pavus Warden Blackwall

46 notes

haiku september 2014

40ozphilosopher:

1.
beats of a war drum
decaying in the distance
-autumn falling fast

2.
weary eyes shut to
the silent autumnal night
-a victim of time

3.
-Invisible chains
stars Glittering softly
above a quiet street

4.
-these terrors made flesh
lies and secrets walk among
us in empty rooms

5.
empty eyes glaring
under the pale moonlit sky
-unbroken silence

6.
-Our little secrets
traces of the night before
tangled in your hair

7.
weeds grow steadily
though the cracked and crumbling
pavement of the roadside
the passing days slowly grind
us down to a bitter pulp

8.
-at winters mercy
the dying call of the last
crickets of summer

9.
Shards and fragments of
my subtle thoughts collecting
-a single teardrop

10.
Patiently Waiting
for the nothingness to pass
-Yet life goes on…

11.
-barbarians at the gate
our thoughts looming like shadows
in the moonlit streets

12.
-Just radio waves
The echoes of heated words
burning in my throat

13.
the early morning
streets eclipsed in her stillness
-blank space between words

14.
Haunted eyes evermore
holding to their blank gaze
-The nights endless black

—Matthew Ambrose

Filed under poetry Matthew Ambrose